Everyone has their own interpretations for the same term, the same phrase, and even the same word.
What sounds ironic for you may sound funny for another person.
Without clarifying with your interlocutor and making sure that you guys are on the same page, it usually leads to a dead end when the goal is to communicate and make connections.
The definition of communication may vary across individuals; however, it should be a bi-directional activity regardless of other nuance. That means, imo, both sides have the responsibilities to make efforts that enable both sides to understand 'each other' correctly. Namely, not just interpreting the words from the interlocutor in our own ways, but interpreting the interlocutor's words in his/her ways.
Jumping into a conclusion by grasping a word or two without contexts or without understanding his/her background relevant to the situation is dangerous, which is a very pervasive situation in the current press, media, and news report.
As a psychologist, she can see how that could go easily. Perspective-taking is just so hard... well, if we can only acquire the most basic of this skill after years of life, it could be taken as a proof for its difficulty.
While the bitterness still goes on and on and probably won't end in weeks or even months, the bitterness coming from where she was never given the opportunity to openly discuss the situation honestly in a bidirectional way when it was first risen, there is nothing could be done by one party in this situation. Accepting the bitterness and using it to act differently in the future is probably the best use of this ache. At least, respecting others more by giving them the opportunities to explain themselves clearly at the first place and don't jump into conclusion without clarification; increasing the flexibility of various interpretations for the same situations/words would also be a helpful skill as well.
It's not easy to have someone who is willing to be direct and honest but also respectful. It's good that she has the guts to seek for the further confirmation without jumping into conclusion so fast. So she got to learn that she did not blame her on anything, but merely tried to clarifying the situation as she always had wished for in the past decade... but of course, that was a wish not a hope...
Could she attribute this to the MNS so she could stop punishing herself?
That the person who would interpret others in a specific way is because that they themselves behave like that, so there is no way that they could manage the situation differently since that was the only resort they have...
"There will be a dark path that you have to walk alone, but it wouldn't take too long...... DL"