She does not belong to anyone's circle, and she should not have hoped for that ever.
The image of that morning is still fresh in her mind.
The brightness of sunshine, the warmth of the sun, the smell of his breath, and even the softness of his touch.
She felt that morning would last for the next decades or even longer.
She felt the life would be filled with a variety of voices, especially laughter.
She felt the person who encourages her meant it for every word.
She felt the warmth would stay like the offer does.
She felt that the light at the end of the tunnel finally comes.
It turns out, however, all of those feelings were false alarm.
It turns out, the encouragement is just as superficial as those coming from others.
It turns out, she is still not needed and does not belong to anywhere, anyone.
It turns out, the offer only stands whenever she only stays outside of his own circle.
It turns out, there is only darkness waiting for her, and the tunnel is so long that she cannot even see the end.
It is finally the time to face the music... after decades.
Nothing has changed comparing with the days in her 20 after all.
Maybe she meant to be alone because no one would ever stay or need her.
Seeking for recognition is too much to ask for, do not even think about pursuing for being needed and loved.
She is not needed, she has to remind herself of that whenever she is touched and feels brave again.
Cos she knows how will that feeling end... another dissapointment and desperation, over and over...